In recent months being a Single Christian gal hasn’t been the easiest for me. I’ve watched all my friends slowly become paired off-boyfriends, engagements, weddings, and babies all coming along-and last night I cried about it, and then wrote a short article of Instagram. This morning I felt led to expand on what I wrote and make it into a blog article. So without further adieu; A Moment of Honesty:
Self-confidence hasn’t always been my strong suit. It’s taken some time to embrace the fact that I am a beautiful, lovely daughter of God.
I grew up in a strong Christian home and was always a confident kid. But, when I was got to seventh grade, I fell for a guy who trampled on my heart, and therein, changed how I would forever look at myself. I started getting depressed and anxiety would constantly creep in at school whispering, “They’re talking about you, you know.” So, the summer going into eighth grade, I decided NEVER to let a guy hurt me like that again… But I did… Going into ninth grade I swore the same thing to myself… Again, I let it happen. Then, because of other issues going on at school, I started homeschooling. I met a guy friend who boosted my confidence-both in myself and in guys… Then when he started going through some stuff, lashed out and hurt me.
I’m not a stranger to heartache.
I found out my best friend has a boyfriend-making me the last one in our little group not paired off and, in that moment, I felt all the heartache creep back into my heart and whisper to me exactly why it is I’m still “alone”.
And, I cried about it. Hard.
I cried because I don’t understand why. I feel isolated and alone. I feel like despite the few short moments of immense clarity, there is SO MUCH fog that’s so thick that I can’t see two feet in front of me.
I wanted to write this because I want all you other single ladies to know, you’re not alone. You aren’t the only one who wonders why you’re the only one not paired off. The only one who hasn’t met your match yet.
So, chin up! Don’t let these circumstances drag you down and cause you to doubt your beautiful self!
“You are altogether beautiful, my darling. There is no flaw in you.”
~Song of Solomon 4:7 (NLT)
One day, we will get to hear these beautiful words. Maybe not from an earthly husband like we desire, but, we can rest easy knowing that the God of the universe tells us that we are beautiful. there is no other like us, and that each of us are his darling.
Many of you know that I LOVE looking up the definition and Greek origin of words. As I was looking up the word for “darling” every single one had the word “beloved”.
We are God’s beloved-single or dating. He is the Lover of our souls and the only one who can take our hearts and souls into the deepest forms of love and intimacy that we desire.
Lean on him-he is everything we need.
I know it’s hard. I know some days it feels that there is never going to be a guy who loves us in the ways we desire-but there is! There IS! He’s always been there and he will always be there-eve in the midst of our deepest pain. He will hold us and dry our tears as we cry. He whispers words of love to us-we just have to listen.
Love you all!