The Heart of Modesty: Modesty in Action

Modesty in Action

And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.”          1 Timothy 2:9-10

At the end of the first post for this series, we read proverbs 4:23; that everything we do comes from what is in our hearts.

That means how we act is directly caused by the state our heart is in.

Let me give you an example:

I’m one of those people who tends to hold onto the bad things people do to or say about me. I let my heart become so full of anger, bitterness and resentment and, because of it, I end up treating people those same things that I’ve let into my heart-whether I mean to or not.

It’s like a cup…the more you fill it, the fuller it becomes and inevitably, if you keep pouring into it, whatever you’re pouring will begin to overflow out of it.

Have you ever seen someone go out of their way to get attention by acting out? Maybe their being overly loud, making exaggerated gestures or movements with their hands or body? Or, maybe they had an emotional outburst that drew more than a little attention to themself?

All of these things are caused by what is in a person’s heart.

Don’t get me wrong, emotions are a wonderful, God-given gift! Emotions are what lead us to take action and have sympathy and care about others.

But, emotions gone unchecked-whether happy or sad- can end up leading us down sinful paths that lead to hurt and ruin.

-Emotions gone unchecked,

Remember the questionnaire I wrote about in Part 1 of the series?

One of the things I asked those who took part is “What does a Modest Woman look like to you?”  

Here are a couple of answers that I received that so perfectly agree with what this article is saying:

  1. “I think modesty had a lot of different aspects or meanings, it includes how she acts as well as dresses. But a truly modest woman will act modest and dress… Ultimately, its more than physical appearance, but a truly modest woman will recognize the need to dress modestly as well. To me a modest woman is very balanced emotionally, does not demand attention from others, in any way, and is quietly confident in herself and strong.”

  2. “To me a modest woman still has a sense of mystery to her. She doesn’t throw her emotions around for everyone to hear and see. She doesn’t get acceptance by having to have the spotlight…”

A couple of weeks ago, I was reading in my Bible and read about a man who had invited Jesus over for lunch and Jesus sat and watched everyone try to sit in the seat of honor. 

This was Jesus’ response;

“When you put on a luncheon or a banquet,” he said, “don’t invite your friends, brothers, relatives, and rich neighbors. For they will invite you back, and that will be your only reward. Instead, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. Then at the resurrection of the righteous, God will reward you for inviting those who could not repay you.” Luke 14:12-14

Another such verse puts it this way:

“Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven.” Matthew 6:1

When you are doing something, what is in your heart? To bring glory to yourself, or to God?

“So if you eat or drink or whatever you do, do everything to honor God.”                      1 Corinthians 10:31 (Emphasis added)

Some of you may know, that I love to sing, and grew up singing specials in church.

As I’ve gotten older, I started singing more, and the more I sang the more compliments I got. Add to that trying to “bust out” of the shell people put my in of who they thought I was and trying to be my own person, I started singing more unconventional (Christian hip-hop) songs at church.

Well, last summer, I realized that my singing was slowly becoming less and less about him, and more and more about me.

So, I took the summer off and fasted singing in front of crowds. And you know what? Since that time, I experience and encounter Christ in deeper, more intimate ways during worship.

Challenge yourself today, and ask yourself what the motives behind whatever you’re doing are. Are they for personal glory, or Christ’s glory?

Finally, as with the last two parts of the series, here are a couple of my favorite modest Autumnal outfits! The olive t-shirt dress is from Kosher Casual-an adorable online shop full of gorgeous and affordable modest clothing all the way from The Holy Land of Israel! (An Added Bonus!) The rest of the clothes are from various stores such as Walmart and Giant Tiger!

I don’t know about you, but I LOVE Autumn! I get to start wearing a darker lipstick three-quarter sleeve shirts (and Dresses)! Orange (it feels strange wearing orange toned clothes any other time of the year!)

And Don’t forget about our Giveaway of two books-donated by Pure Freedom Ministries– and a special made, one-of-a-kind- notebook designed by yours truly! Keep an eye out because the giveaway is coming up right around the corner! Keep an eye out for how to enter!

 

XoXo,

~Kristen~

 

The Heart of Modesty: The Girl on the Magazine Cover: Fashion and the Power of Dressing Modestly

the Girl on the Magazine Cover

Some time ago, I was at the store picking up some ingredients for a cake I was making, and ended up strolling down the magazine aisle.

As I stopped to look to see if they had my dad’s favorite vintage cars magazine, I spotted something that disturbed me. Right underneath the men’s magazines were the women’s magazines with cover images of scantily clad women.  Women who had these ‘come hither’ looks on their faces while trying to keep hold of what little clothing they had so the most intimate parts of their bodies were [mostly] covered-though, to be quite honest, it wasn’t doing much good.

As I looked at these images, I was filled with anger. Anger that these images, and the models in them, are what girls and women look at thinking that these are the standards they have to look [and live] up to in order to be sees as beautiful.

Then, when I got home, I was scrolling on Facebook, and the link to an article that caught my eye. The name of the article: “10 wardrobe items that instantly make you more attractive”.

The whole entire article was about things that a woman absolutely must have in her wardrobe. There are two main points this article is pushing: how to keep it classy while still maintaining an element of “sensuality” and that to attain that you have to make sure that just enough of your body is showing–just not too much or else you’ll make yourself look ‘trashy’.

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines “Sensual” as the following: “relating to or consisting in the gratification of the senses”

So, essentially, this article is telling us that women have to dress to appeal to the senses of men. 

I would like to challenge that idea.

The Bible says:

“And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by the wearing of gold or pearls or expensive clothes.” 1 Timothy 2:9

On that note, let me tell you a bit of a story.

When I was in 7th grade, I became obsessed with the 70’s T.V. show adaptation o Little House on the Prairie. So much so, that I became completely in love with the way the women dressed. It also helped that it was modest as well as quite feminine-dresses all day every day? Yes please! However, I didn’t take into consideration the ridicule it would bring me from the other kids in school.

Then, when 8th grade rolled around, I decided to try something else: dress more modern. So, I started wearing mini-dresses that were…well…too mini. In fact, they were so mini, that I couldn’t bend down in them…But, I’ll spare you from those details.

This is when I stumbled upon two books that completely changed the way I look at clothing: The Bride Wore White and Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty by speaker and author Dannah Gresh. (It also just so happens that Pure Freedom Ministries donated both of these books for a giveaway at the end of this series!)

So, why dress modestly? Well, we are called to honor God with our bodies. After all, we-our bodies-are the temple of God (1 Corinthians 6:19) If you were to be a representative of someone in a high authoritative position, you wouldn’t dress improperly. You’d dress in the appropriate attire. In the same way, we, as daughters of the King-as representatives of The King of Kings, are called to dress in a way that will bring honor and praise to him.

“And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.” Matthew 6:28-29

One of the things I’ve found in my research is how so many basically say “in order to be modest you must dress like this”

However, lets go right back to the main point of this whole series: Modesty starts in your heart and works its way out.

As well-known speaker and author Jefferson Bethke once said, “A Woman must have her heart changed before her clothing ever will!”

At the same time, I also believe that if you are a Christian who is wholeheartedly seeking after Jesus, you need to ask him to convict you of the clothing you have that don’t bring honor to him.

Here are a few questions I go by when purchasing clothes:

First, I ask myself “Would I be wearing this because I like it, or because of the attention it would bring to me?” and “Am I bringing honor to God and the body he’s given me when I wear this?”

Then if it passes that test, these are a few guidelines I like to use when trying clothes on:

  1. If I bend over and feel like there’s nothing covering my back end, I wear a pair of black cycling shorts or tights underneath
  2. If the collar of my shirt is too low or so loose that if I bend down you can see down my shirt, I wear a camisole under it.
  3. I try to keep my dresses no shorter than knee length. If it is just at the top of my knee I wear tights. As for shorts, I never wear short-shorts or bootie shorts. I always find ones that go at least 3/4 of the way down my thighs (Hip-Hooray for Bermuda Shorts!).
  4. I try to keep my bra straps covered and only wear tank tops that have minimum 2 inch straps. Spaghetti straps are ALWAYS worm with a bolero of some kind.
  5. Nothing super, duper tight
  6. And finally, I don’t let any of my midriff show.

GTDM

Here’s the thing, summer doesn’t have to be filled with anxiety over clothes. Yes, it might be a little more difficult to find modest clothing, but there are so many fun modest clothing stores online that have wonderful modest and modern summer (and year round) clothing! And throughout this series, I’m featuring some amazing and affordable modest clothing companies that I highly encourage you to go check out!

Lastly, one of the reasons that is spoken about more often than not, when it comes to modesty, is that we need to dress modestly so that we don’t cause our brothers-in-Christ to stumble and lust after us. And while I totally, completely agree with this, we need to make sure that we aren’t losing focus of the real reason that we are choosing to dress modestly.

You see, when we put all the focus and reasoning for dressing modestly on guys- whether it’s so that you don’t attract the wrong kind of attention, cause your Christian brothers to stumble and lust after you, or so that you will attract the right kind of attention from a nice Christian guy who might see you as being a Godly woman worth pursuing- we are forgetting that the whole reason to dress modestly: To Bring Honor and Glory to God. 

In the end, it all comes down to this: What is your purpose? What are the secret thoughts in your heart, behind the clothes you are picking? To bring glory and attention to God, or to yourself? 

I want to challenge you, take a few moments today to ask God to start convicting you of the clothes that don’t bring glory to his name. Some of the clothes may be perfectly modest, however the reason behind the purchase may not be-I myself have gotten rid of several outfits that I bought because of that very thing.  And finally, ask him to change your heart, to work in you from the inside out, to make you the woman of God that he desires for you to become!

Finally, here are a few of my favorite modest summer outfits-including a new completely adorable swim dress from Dainty Jewell’s which is perfect for going to the beach and then running errands or to out to eat before or right after! (By-the-Way, Their clothing is SO adorable and SO worth the money spent!) The other outfits are clothing I bought at Walmart for relatively good prices. The blue jean shirt was my dad’s that he bought off e-bay that I expropriated from his closet. It’s one of my staple pieces as it’s big enough that you don’t get too hot when you’re wearing it in the summer!

 

 

 

 

Also, don’t forget about our book giveaway at the end of this series! We’ll be providing more information on how you can enter when we get closer to it! The books were donated from Dannah Gresh’s Ministry Pure Freedom Ministries (of which I also encourage you to go check out) and the notebook was custom designed (by yours truly!) specifically for this giveaway!

 

 

 

Until next time!

XoXo,

~Kristen~

Summer Book Study!

Hello ladies!

It’s been a while, I know! I’ve been down a computer or the last several weeks and am hoping to buy a new one soon!

Anywho…

I have some SUPER DUPER exciting news!

You remember the eBook that I wrote and published earlier this year?

Well, I am going to be hosting a book study on it this summer and I want YOU–yes beautiful girl, you, the one reading this right now–to join us!

Here is the poster with the information! Please feel free to share it with your friends and invite them to join us!

Summer Book Study

Here’s the thing, I know that summer is all about fun and you don’t necessarily want to be stuck for hours and hours reading a book. Well, I have news for you! Each chapter in the ‘Unfading Beauty: Becoming Women of Biblical Beauty’ eBook is short and the perfect kind of summer study! 

Each chapter has some questions at the end, but rather than doing all of them, two or three key questions from each chapter will be selected to discuss so that we can gain the absolute most from each chapter/topic in the book! 

I am also SO excited for the beautiful community that we get to build through it through the group set up on Facebook!

So, download your FREE copy of the eBook, request to be pat of our Facebook Group and then tell your friends and lets all get ready and excited (I already am!) to grow in our relationships with Jesus together!

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me!

XoXo,

~Kristen~

Four!

four

Four. That’s how many years Unfading Beauty Ministries has been operating! FOUR!

Yep, today is Unfading Beauty Ministries’ birthday, and I am so excited about it! 

Last year, on our third birthday, I gave you the back story of Unfading Beauty Ministries. This year, I’m going to reflect on this past year-more specifically, the last 10 months.

As many of you know, I went to Montana for an internship this last summer. One of the big things that God was speaking into my life about is about taking Faith-Steps. 

So, in September, I decided to take that faith-step I had been getting nudged about. I changed the name from Unfading Beauty to Unfading Beauty Ministries and then upgraded the blog address and started to become more serious about everything. I created an Instagram account, Facebook account and YouTube channel for the ministry.

I then embarked upon writing the Unfading Beauty Book and started planning the Heart of Modesty project (more to come on that within the net month!)

In my personal life, I’ve been getting ready to head to college in the Autumn-which is both exciting and a little scary! 

All in all, I can’t believe it’s been four years

This ministry started as such a little thing-and I truly never thought it would grow to what it has! 

As I write, there is a Bible verse that comes to mind:

“If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones…” Luke 16:10

So, as we celebrate this milestone, I would like to encourage all of you, no matter how little the task God has given you seems, do well in it. Give it your all! If you aren’t a faithful steward of the little bit God has given you, how can you be faithful in the much?

Finally, to celebrate, let me know how Unfading Beauty Ministries has touched your life! 

XoXo,

~Kristen~